im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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