If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
