everyone is single if you try hard enough
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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