ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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