butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize