Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
