u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
