The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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