bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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