I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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