I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
