i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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