I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
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it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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