too bad you live with your parents still
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I touched a dick in church today
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
