is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize