I hate your face
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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