so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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