Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
