What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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