doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
