I want to stick my p in your. b.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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