I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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