Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize