Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i think im in europe. pls send help
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
