Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My feet surprised me
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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