i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
