Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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