I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
