Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Success! We fucked roommates!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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