I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
