Will you blow on my dice?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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