I heard we made out
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
