dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
