Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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