i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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