Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
