I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
