watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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