He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
