i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
