i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
