So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
