apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
