Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
