I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
