Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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