it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
