I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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