you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
