hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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