He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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