You're my little dorito
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
