I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
