I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
