Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
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I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
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My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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