So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
