he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
