Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
