Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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