just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
