Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
wow bdsm is so cute
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
