Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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