I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I smell like Dick and happiness
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