Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
