Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
