hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
