the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
