Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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