I'm really into asian looking animals
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
