I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Boobs speak an international language.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize